Black women (yes, marginalized communities as a whole, but this is a space for US), have a long-standing history of being silenced, of being forced to assimilate as a way to not appear too this (read: black), too that (read: outspoken) … too and the third (read: much).
I’ve struggled with how I wanted to be perceived in corporate spaces, and tried on the uniform of being agreeable, avoiding dissent and confrontation, wearing a side-part only in a natural, acceptable color. You know the style: mid-back but not too long because I don’t want to support their tendency to generalize us and think we’re all the same.
And honestly, fuck that. Yes, we sometimes HAVE to play the game — IYKYK. But being strategic doesn’t have to mean being inauthentic. These multiple degrees, years of experience, and undeniable talent hits whether I’m wearing a middle-part buss down or if my crown is faded in the style of Boosie.
Consider this, consider that
Now, even when conceptualizing this blog, I’d be remiss if I didn’t confess to having some concerns:
- Maybe I should have a minimalist design to not seem too dysfunctional
- Should I curse? I don’t want to be viewed as immature or inarticulate
Spoiler alert: the minimalist design obviously won. As did the cursing. Respectfully, this my shit.
The constant back and forth, should I or shouldn’t I, is enough to cause fatigue and mental overload. As an anxious girly, I have no mental capacity to add any extra morsels of hypercritical awareness. The easiest choice (read: the right choice) is to choose to embrace my intuition. Making the conscientious decision to prioritize alignment.
My hope for you
Sister, I pray that my authentic identity expression resonates with a core part of who you are. There’s a healing that occurred when I leaned fully into who I am as a creative, a colleague, and as a mentor to others. The way I lean into having critical, often courageous conversations is a fully realized version of the little girl that stood up to bullies and advocated for others. It took a long time to reconnect with her after being beaten and “othered” in certain corporate spaces, but I’m glad I could prepare a space for her.
I hope that through this community, you are equally emboldened to tap back into who you were, truly see who you are now, and feel supported to cultivate the person you wish to be. Whoever she is.